What's the title of your memoir?

We're all so serious here all the time! Sometimes you have to lighten things up, after all we do have great jobs, even if they are a PITA sometimes. I cuddle kittens on a regular basis! How awesome is that?

I was speaking to a technician at a hospital the other day and something happened that was crazy and she said that the event was going in her memoir. I asked her what the name of her memoir was, and she told me on the condition I not steal it, so I won't tell you, because that would be uncool if someone out there in cyberspace stole it, but it ran something along the lines of "Puke, Piss and Poop: My Job as a Veterinary Technician". I thought that was a great name.

She asked me what the title of my memoir would be and I told her without hesitating that it was going to be "Blow Drying a Dead Cat", because I distinctly recall, as I was blowing drying the dead cat many years ago, that it would be a cool name for a memoir.

That led us to the inevitable story swap, and we all know how those go. The person who was told to use corn starch to stop a bleeding toenail on his cat, but still brought the cat in because he applied it to the entire cat, not the toe (Shake and Bake Cat). Or the person who called to ask if ferrets have a spinal column.

There are horror stories too, and sadly we have more of those, but today, it's all about the good stories. So in keeping with that, What is the name of your memoir?

Veterinary compliance

What would happen if you fired all of your non-compliant clients?

What percentage of your clients are currently 100% compliant? Up to date on all recommended vaccines: current on heartworm testing and fecals? If you recommend semi-annual exams and bloodwork for all of your patients or certain age cohorts, how many of your clients are 100% compliant?

Now, look at all of your non-compliant clients. Look at all the three year gaps from the "rabies only" crowd, and the dogs and cats you just know are begging to come in heartworm positive because their owners don't want to pony up $10 a month for prevention. Imagine if all of these clients just disappeared. How many days would you have to work now? Imagine all the free time!

Is 100% owner compliance on recommended items the goal in your hospital? If it isn't then, I suppose I have ask, why not? Why are you recommending things at all if you don't think it applies to both your good and 'bad' clients? If 100% compliance is your goal, what percentage of your clients would you have to fire to reach that goal?

I bet it's high - really high, scary high.

So, maybe you need to look at how you're discussing the things that you think are really important. What if you announced at the next staff meeting that you were going to purge all of the clients who are not compliant? Would you have to purge any of your employees? Yikes! Don't tell me you'd have to fire yourself!

Either you believe in something, or you don't. If you do, then you should believe in it enough to demand that every pet is on it. Not every pet whose owner is easy to talk to, or every pet whose owner isn't a jerk, or every owner you think can pay for it, or every owner that you have otherwise labeled as undeserving of your best medicine.

Look at your compliance today. Then tell your staff you believe in compliance so strongly that you want 100% of your clients to be current on all recommended services. Then have your staff keep a list in the pharmacy or wherever they loiter in between rooms. On the list, have your staff write the names of all the clients you will have to fire with the initials of the doc and tech who saw the case. After every wellness visit, your team will either have to create compliance, or write the name on the list.  Every time you pass the list ask why you'll have to fire someone, you really like him.

You'll never achieve 100% compliance, just like airlines will never achieve 100% of all flights landing without incident. But, isn't it seriously important to try?